Coming Out as a Masturbator

I am a gay male, and I came out at age 20 back in college. It was a great revelation to realize who I was (I really knew when I was 12), that I love men, and being able to tell family and friends this part of me was such a relief.

Coming out as a masturbator is a different story. I have always loved my cock, pleasuring myself and enjoying both the build to orgasm, the orgasm itself, and most intensely the edge where you hover just on the edge of orgasm. However, telling people that this is the sex that you 100% truly love is tough. For non-masturbators it is difficult to understand just what all this means. I am chronically masturbating often, where I must bring my penis over and over to that edge for sometimes hours at a time. I came to this realization that this is who I am some time in my late 20’s when I mastered edging and felt less guilt about my nature, and now even proud that this is who I am. Fuck ya I’m a MASTURBATOR!

Finally admitting this to people has been even more difficult than coming out as a gay man. It has taken me years to “come out” little by little to my partner of 17 years that I am a masturbator. This part of me, my true sexual identity, is so close to me and misunderstood by so many people that letting on to people is downright scary because rejection and misconceptions are rampant with people who don’t practice masturbation as I do. Truthfully it feels like only other masturbators get just what this means to be chronic about penis. It can bring me to such a state of ecstasy like really nothing else can. Regular “gay sex” (whatever that means – oral? anal? quick jo in the shower?) has little interest to me. I am always trying to reach that ecstatic state and standard gay sex over a 30 minute period is not satisfactory.

Anyhow, back to coming out as a masturbator… partner is aware of my love for bate, and allows me to jack as long as I care to. It doesn’t mean he understands, but it is who I am and he has finally accepted it (after some definite rocky parts with 6 months living apart). As for friends, I often joke about how much I love to masturbate, and it is all a good joke, but if they only knew. Of course family has no idea nor will I ever let on. Some things are best kept in the closet like that.

But on here, on this blog I am coming out – I AM A MASTURBATOR! Hell ya!



6 Responses to “Coming Out as a Masturbator”

  1. My sexual identity is also Masturbator. Nothing is more erotically intense and satisfying than sharing this verbally and visually with other masturbators. I heightens my edging, gooning and orgasmic pleasure to be heard and seen by other masturbators as I see and hear them, discussing and comfirming our identities as masturbators. I masturbate several hours a day, often on Yahoo IM –
    Please join me there to share our masturbation

  2. This particular blog posting really made me wonder about one thing. I’m sorry if this is a stupid question. Do you always masturbate with your hand(s)? What do you think about sex toy male masturbators such as Fleshlight? I believe, with your own hand, you have more control over hovering on the edge of orgasm. It seems to me that most non chronic masturbators don’t care about building orgasm and playing on the edge, they just want orgasm, and for some of them, the sooner the better. That said, they don’t care if they reach orgasm by hands or toys. But a person like you is probably able to tell me what are good and bad things about male masturbator toys.

    I sell masturbator toys and have a friend in Japan who actually has a factory where he makes masturbators, and opinions from people who really know masturbation are really valuable. I really don’t mean to advertise my product here but if you don’t mind, I want to send you a few samples.
    Thank you.

  3. You are an inspiration! A late bloomer, I didn’t learn to masturbate until I was almost 13 years old. Once I discovered after my second orgasm that I hadn’t permanently broken my penis with my first orgasm, and that I could repeat the process indefinitely, I started masturbating several times a day and haven’t looked back since! But your blog provides a whole new impetus to indulge and wallow in the daily pleasures that my penis gives me. Curious thing happened as I got older: my orgasms became fewer per day, but each one is almost painful in its intensity, and each orgasm lasts much longer than they did when I was younger. I can spend hours on line worshipping penises with my own penis . . . and your blogging makes me feel wonderful about my masturbating. Thanks.

  4. hey bud, i’m completely there 4 u. i realize that u need others to understand ur sexuality. however, explaining solosexual, chronic masturbation to those that have no idea what ur talking about is not even remotely possible. don’t feel u must purge urself to others’ expectation.s and understandings. most guys that are into masturbaiton may not even understand the complete sumbersion to chronic addiction of the bate. so, give urself the freedom to be who and what u are, no explanation needed. just enjoy the total and complte bate that u are entitled to

  5. I outed myself as a chronic addicted masturbator to my wife and did it in an off-handed way by leaving my blog open on my computer screen so she could read it while I was away at work. When I came home, she asked me if everything I posted in my blog was true, and I said yes. After that, she would make snide remarks about how I was a pervert, chatting with other perverts and wasting all my time masturbating to porn. But after time, the remarks subsided. Now she just tells me not to stay up all night, which I do anyway.
    All in all, it has been very liberating, because I am no longer hiding who I am.

  6. You have expressed perfectly the dilemma faced by myself as to coming out a dedicated bator. People rarely understand how intense a bate session can be for those who have mastered the art. Even for those still exploring, the experience can be overwhelming. I have experienced sessions when my body was so flooded with pheromones and endorphins that even the simple act of breathing sent waves of sensation through my body. People that seek only a quick release do not understand that this is even possible, much less that it can be nurtured into a fine art of blissful day to day experience. I moderate and host a monthly group of men-Atlanta Jacks – and even there I find men who have no concept of extended blissful masturbation. I recently posted an online ad expressing my desire to have regular sessions in the company of other men. Fully dressed men that were cool with my extended bate sessions. Again, I find the men I have explored this with are completely blow away by how consuming the session becomes. I have found one couple-lucky me- that is all to willing to offer their assistance. It’s like having 6 hands. They really are great. Waiting for my direction, not imposing their own will to touch or explore my body, letting me offer all the places I like fondled and pinched. I really am blessed to have found these two. They want to have a party to show me off to their friends. I love it and they love bearing witness to my bliss. I am a Bator that loves to show off while doing it.
    I have had the great fortune to spend quality bate time with Mr. PDX Bator in Palm Springs, California. I hope the paths of two proud bators cross again someday.

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